It had been a while since Margaret had come over to watch a movie. I made such a fuss over having to watch Atonement a while back she's more or less refused to come over for a movie night until I apologized. Which I did the other day - I snuck it in during sex, and it added an element of "make-up" to an already energetic afternoon.
It was my turn to pick. Now, in my defence in advance let me state that I am a fan of Bruce Campbell. Bubba Ho Tep was brilliant. Army of Darkness was genious. His cameos in the Spiderman movies, all good. So when I stumbled across Alien Apocalypse starring my hero I was stoked. Here was something I'd enjoy ... I'd be able to get even. (queue manical laughter)
What I wasn't counting on was how absolutely terrible it would be. It was camp and deliberately over the top bad - but sometimes bad as good just turns out to be bad as in BAD. This was beyond bad. It was SHIT.
So there I was watching this, trying to pretend to Margaret I was enthralled with my hero, while she looked at me like I was in need of a frontal labotamy. I drank more beers than necessary, and Margaret would make a point of pausing the DVD when I had to pee (which was every 5 minutes). Then once it was over, she called my bluff and asked if we could watch it again, but this time with the director's commentary, because Bruce himself was providing his insights into the project.
There's a lesson here, and the lesson is this: Woman are smarter than men, and you're deluding yourself if you think you can pull a fast one on the fairer sex. Oh yeah, and speaking of sex - Margaret stayed over but didn't put out. She had a headache. I didn't sleep well either, because I had to get up and pee about a half dozen times throughout the night.
Bruce you let me down.
Chances are I'm going to have to watch Elizabeth or something next week, and I'll have to pretend to like it.
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