Greetings from John Michael Chapman

Hello and welcome to my blog. You can call me John. I'm still kind of new to this computer stuff, but I'm quite taken with this internet thing. I am not exactly single (I have a girlfriend but am not married) but I am not looking to hook up - I have three cats named Clarence, and frankly that's more than enough pussy for one man.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Poop Scootin' Boogie (w/ apologies to Brooks and Dunn)

I was sitting watching TV this morning and eating my breakfast when I noticed Clarence 2 scooting himself along the carpet. It took me a minute to realize what I was seeing as the last time I'd seen a scoot like that was at my buddy Cliff's place a couple of years ago when his dog Angus was laying skid marks by dragging his mangy ass along the carpet. Watching my cat pull himself along the rug was a little surreal. I laughed it off as a weird thing for a cat to do, and went out for the morning to run some errands.

When I got back in the afternoon Clarences 1 & 3 greeted me at the door, tangling themselves in my legs. There was no sign of number 2. I walked into the living room, and I stopped cold. There were rust colored hash marks all over the carpet. I squatted down and rubbed one of the "lines" with my finger, and gave it a sniff.

"Oh crap." Well, I'd found my signs of number 2.

I went to the washroom to wash my hands. Then went looking for Clarence 2. I found him under my bed. I eventually coached him out, and he didn't look good at all. After wrapping him in a towel, I carried him to the car and drove to Dr. Harry Autte, my vet. He took a look at him and told me he'd keep him for the evening. Someone would call me in the morning.

So, now I'm waiting.

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