I woke up this morning to sunshine. After a couple of days of less than stellar weather it was a nice change of pace. I got up feeling 100% better and set out to feed the cats and take care of Clarence 2. I whistled for the cats, but they didn't come. Not even Clarence 3, who I'm sure is just an undersized pig.
Peeking into the living room I saw the cats lined up at the sliding door looking into the backyard. Their tails were twitching and their ears were circling like little radar dishes. I walked over to see what had their attention and I froze. It was a scene straight out of The Birds. My lawn was completely covered with birds. Hundreds of them. The sound of the telephone snapped me out of my trance.
It was Mrs. McCleary asking me why I had so many birds in my yard, and who was going to clean up the mess on her windows? Occasionally there'd be a thud and a thump as some poor creature hit a window. The cats, even Clarence 2 wanted outside.
I had a lot to do today and time was running away from me, as the weekend was approaching quicker than I could prepare for it - all in all, this wasn't the best start to my day. The phone rang again. It was Norton.
"Norton." I asked, "What did you do to the lawn?"
"I fertilized, and over-seeded."
"Norton, my lawn is covered with birds, it's like a scene from a horror movie. What did you do?"
"I told you!" Norton was defensive, which usually means that he really doesn't know what's going on, opposed to his smuggy tone when he's done something on purpose. "I fertilized, and put on the seed you had in that big bag in the garage."
I called Norton an idiot and hung up the phone. The "big bag" in the garage was a fifty pound sack of spring mix I use for the bird feeders out back. Norton had covered my lawn with the entire bag.
I peeked out the window and the birds were starting to thin out. Possibly because every cat in the neighborhood was having a field day (if there was a Christmas for cats it came early this year). My cats were staring at me, and then out the window and back at me, imploring me to let them join their friends. What could I do? I opened the door; two of them were off like a shot, and Clarence 2 off like a speed walker. I closed the door and curtains, not wanting to watch.
Figuring I still had the better part of a day I got in the truck and headed for town. I had hardly gone more than a few blocks when the familiar thump thump thump of a flat tire forced me to pull over. I got out and kicked the tire just to make sure it was dead. I could almost hear DeForest Kelley in my mind telling me that it was indeed dead. Followed by "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
Speaking of mechanics, I was towed to Jimmy's Garage (don't ask me about the spare - I was driving on it). Where Jimmy himself met me. Me and Jimmy have a love hate relationship. Jimmy loves my old Fargo, and I hate Jimmy (I'll tell you about it one day). Jimmy kicked the dead tire and looked at me with his "I told you so" look, it was the same look I got last time I was in.
Anyway, to cut a long story short (because I'm tired). Jimmy looked over the three other tires and proclaimed that they were past being legal, and that he couldn't let the truck go until I'd bought new tires. We went back and forth for a good twenty minutes until we settled on a set of good used tires that had plenty of life left in them.
I was there until almost closing time, and by the time I was able to leave, it was too late to go to Vernon's office, and too late to pick up any odds and ends. Dang. I'd have to call Norton tomorrow and apologize and see if he could give me a hand.
I'd also forgotten to let the cats back in.
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