Duderometry and the List of Things

I am not the Walrus and I am not dead.

Lazy is not dead, just lazy.

Christmas was fun. Remind me to tell you about the adventure we had with the turkey and Clarence number three's head. Ditto for New Year's, although I have to be honest and tell you I have no idea where that traffic cone came from - it's not local.  I also learned that I continue to be profoundly bad with resolutions.  In short I am paving myself a nice pathway (complete with shrubbery) to the netherworld.

I've been ignoring this bloggity thing, and guilt is one of those rare motivators I actually respond to, so I figured I had to just suck it up and put something down just to get the ball rolling again before I went on extended hiatus.

Anyways today is Sunday, and as is my occasional habit on Sunday, I go to church.  I often wonder why I bother.  I don't go because of Kirk Cameron and the Rapture Police - I go because if I don't I feel guilty and more often than not I actually feel good about going ... once I'm there.

This morning was another typical Sunday.  Got my coffee (today's mug was kind of creepy. It had a yellow smiley face with a crown of thorns with the caption "Smile Jesus Wuvs You") and found a chair near the back.  Norton was sitting a few rows ahead and kept turning around to wave at me.

I got the giggles during one of the readings.  Old Tom Stratton was reading from the Old Testament, and Tom is a great guy, but whistles a little when he talks, and for whatever reason rolls his Rs like a drunken Scot when he reads. Today he was reading something (can't remember what it was) from the Book of Deuteronomy, which he pronounced like a California surfer.  From there it was downhill ...

Oh and speaking of things... (now you have to give me some credit here, because this is very clever for me because Deuteronomy means "things") I know I said I was terrible at resolutions which is true, but I'm great at lists.

So today I leave you with my list of things I am likely not to accomplish anytime soon.

• Post more blogs more often
• Get the Fargo back on the road
• Be nicer to Norton
• Declaw Clarence (doesn't matter which one)
• Take ballroom dancing lessons
• Get winter tires for the van
• Listen to anything by Lady Gaga (all the way through)
• Send a fan letter to Piers Morgan
• Get into my old suit

And with that I'm done.  I can at least partially check one thing off my list ... or at least say I started it.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and I have no idea what to do.