There's something to be said for good intentions. Intentions whether they be bad or good are simply things that are out there in the unwashed ether that could one day given the right circumstances become reality.
Sort of like blogging.
I never gave a lot of credence to this whole blogging thing. I figured, the first rule of this interweb is have something to say and then take your time saying it, and say it in as many ways as possible. Now it was easy at first, then it got harder (that's what she said) and then it just sort of petered out (um).
Now to be fair I don't have a tweeder account, or take pictures of my food - I have some pride after all! But the whole blog thing went by the wayside.
Why?
Life.
Life got in the way. That and back taxes and just about losing everything - but that's a longer and more boring story. I'll try not to get ahead of myself. I have a couple years of dead space to gradually fill in, and who knows I may actually catch you up.
Or not.
I may just refer to this period of inactivity as my lost weekend (insert Yoko Ono cackle here). Yes I know this isn’t the first weekend I’ve misplaced … (it never gets old).
However before I go I will tell you about Christmas trees. Now for those of you playing the home version of this game, you'll know (or not) that Epiphany has come and gone, and the wise men have dropped their goodies and hightailed it for home. This is the trigger to take down the decorations and throw the tree(s) into the vacant lot across the street.
The last couple of years Norton has set up a small tree lot in the parking lot of Jimmy's garage. Norton fancies himself a modern Paul Bunyan and Clarence 2 has gained enough weight to count as a feline version of Blue. So every year starting December first, Norton gets a shipment of "trees" delivered to Jimmy's shop, and he sets himself up as the neighbourhood expert on all things Christmas.
To me it's awesome because it gets him and one of the cats out of the house for most of the month. I have also discovered there are literally hundreds of versions of "O Christmas Tree" (Norton pronounces it "Oh Tanning Salon") most of them really irritating, and some excruciating (I'm looking at you Glee, oh lord do not get me started on Glee ... lost a bet and Margaret has made me watch it ever since).
For most of the month every night at dinner I could expect to relive that scene from Uncle Buck, where Culkin grills Candy, except instead of a barrage of questions, it was Norton asking just one over and over "When are you getting a tree." I'd always answer "Soon."
Norton didn't usually get too much inventory, but inevitably he'd have some left over and by the 24th he'd be freaking out about what to do with the trees. At this point I'd usually swarm in a take them off his hands for $10 bucks and bottle of beer and then set them up all over the front yard and put one in the living room.
For whatever reason this past Christmas Norton did pretty well. He stumbled on the idea of a joint promotion with Jimmy where with every service customers would get a "free" tree. I assumed that over the holiday's Jimmy jacked up the shop rate to cover the cost of the tree. Word got around town and Norton was clearing out inventory faster than ... faster than something really clever. I was looking for a Duck Dynasty quip but nothing came to mind. Oh well. I'll get the next one.
I kind of lost track of time and by the 15th realized that Norton hadn't been bombarding me with the usual litany of tree requests, and my front yard and living room were looking decidedly bare. Now I am used to last minute decorating. In fact it's part of my Christmas routine, but this year I was nervous and Norton wasn't looking like a kid who'd inhaled his first cigarette as Christmas got closer and closer.
The clincher (I mean this literally and figuratively) was when Norton came home with Clarence (who looked uncomfortable in his reindeer sweater) and proclaimed "I sold out of trees!"
Oh Crap (but I was safe, after all I did clinch!).
Margaret grinned an evil grin and I knew what was coming. "IKEA sells Christmas trees! This'll be great. We can go early, and have breakfast, get a tree ... and there were a few things I've been looking for and we can check out the "as is" section."
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