For the last week I've felt uneasy about things. Nothing specific, just things in general. Actually that's not entirely true - I've been feeling empty, out of gas - blah. In short - I am in a funk.
That's right - I am in a funk. A Grand Funk - one that even Mark Farner would be hard pressed to get me out of - that's some kind of not so wonderful.
So this morning I got up, and decided that me and God needed to have a little chat about the state of the union. No I didn't go to the church of cool coffee and The Jesus Men. I'm not so sure I'd find God there anyway. I did the next best thing: I packed a bag lunch, a few Kilkenny's and went for a drive. There's a nice hike not too far away that has a great lookout and I always feel closer to the big guy when I can look out over his handiwork (I also have the same feeling of awe at the beach, but I wanted a little less distraction).
I spent the day sitting quietly, just thinking about stuff. Like how I was going to deal with the shit Vernon was telling me about my finances. Vernon had been poking into my affairs, and he came up with some things I didn't want to hear - let alone deal with. So for the time being, I was in ignore mode. But it had been wearing on me, hence my retreat into the wilderness. I didn't plan on spending 40 days eating honey and locusts - a couple of sandwiches and a few beers would be okay.
I got to thinking about my childhood. I remember bitching and moaning about Mother's Day, and Father's Day - "How come there's no such thing as Kid's Day?" I'd protest. The answer was always the same "Everyday is Kid's Day." It's a terrible thing to admit, but on this one thing my parents were right. The biggest decisions I had to make as a kid was whether or not to watch H.R. Pufnstuf or The Banana Splits.
When did life become needlessly complicated?
I didn't really resolve anything, nor figure anything out. Life is what it is, and it's what you make out of it. There are those that figure if life gives you lemons, you make lemon aid. That's great when life gives you fruit. I get shit - so what the hell do you make out of shit? I hung out for a while thinking about life, the universe and everything, and wished to God that the answer really was 42.
Life is messy.
Tomorrow in Nonday, which means I'm gonna sleep in late. Play with the cats, and enjoy the perks of being self employed. I think I may even stay up late have another brew and watch The Banana Splits.
May not be lemons, but it's a fruit and a step in the right direction.
No comments:
Post a Comment