I Don’t Do Sick Well

The adage goes something like “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Which is of course complete and utter horseshit. At some point between the other day and today my body decided that it was time to act up and see how miserable it could make things for me before I gave up and took to my bed.

The short answer is: too long.

You see I hate being sick. I don’t do sick well. I hate being sick, and when I’m sick I keep going like I’m not sick, which usually results in me making things worse for myself, and not just health wise. You see when I’m sick I tend to exercise really bad judgment.

Take today for instance. I got up and immediately I could tell something wasn’t right in the old body department. I’m not talking the usual cricks, pops and pains a guy my age has to deal until my joints warm up. Nope, this was my bodies early warning system telling me if I was to return to bed and get some rest immediately there was a good chance things would reset themself in short order and I’d be right as rain (another stupid phrase, but I’m limiting myself to one stupid rant per phrase today) in no time at all.

So what did I do?

That’s right, I got up. Intent on rising to the challenge, I was hell bent on trying to seize the day.

Right off the bat my brain was determined to make as many bad choices as possible. What better ammunition than a phone call before my first coffee and a chance to thaw out the noodle? The phone rang, and of course rather than let the call go to voicemail I answered it.

It was a work call.

More to the point it was a call to do work I didn’t want to do – or like to do, or for that matter even have to do, for a person I swore I’d never do work for. Ever. What’s the point in being your own boss if you give yourself shitty work you don’t like doing, for people you don’t want to interact with? Well, I must hate myself because before I knew it I’d said I’d be over later in the week to take a look and see what I could do.

Crap.

On the plus side the job wasn’t very far away, and I’d never built a koi pond before. Besides, this was a job I’d get Norton to help with … after all it was for his mother, and if I played my cards right I wouldn’t have to pay him.

Even though I felt like shit on a hot sidewalk I wasn’t feeling bad about taking the job – which I’m sure was due to being sick, because I’m sure I’ll regret it later. However for now I feel like all is right with the world.

I’m going to bed to sleep the sleep of the righteous … thanks in part to cold medicine, and the hot buttered rum. Who knows I may just wake up and this will have just been a bad dream.

Carpe diem as they say … or in this case it’s just carp.

And for the final groaner: I’m trying not to be koi.

With that I’m off to bed.

Cut me a break, I’m sick.